Phil and Howard

(A 1970's drop-in center.) Supervisor: These men don't get much chance for conversation. Why don't you go around and introduce yourself? Phil: All right. (He goes over to a table.) How are you today? Client: What do you want? Phil: I just thought you needed someone to talk to. Client: You think I'm needy? Phil: Don't give up. I'm sure you'll get a job one day. Client: Don't you recognize me, Phil? I'm your psychology professor from university. Phil: Mister Frank? Oh. Sorry for disturbing you. (He moves to another table and finds a man crying.) Having a bad day? Client: My wife left me. Phil: Well I'm sure another woman will come along. Client: Another Jacqueline Bisset? Phil: You were married to Jacqueline Bisset? Get outta here! (Enter a chauffeur.) Chauffeur: Sir, your car is waiting. (The crying man gets up and follows the driver to the exit. An astonished Phil moves on to the next table.) Phil: How are you feeling this morning? Client: Terrible. Phil: Well just hang in there. Client: I won't cheer up until I get paid for my hit song. Phil: You wrote a hit song? Which one? Client: Oh What a Beautiful Morning Phil: That sounds like an old one. Client: I've been waiting since it made the Hit Parade. Phil: Too bad. Say, who is that old man in the corner? Client: Oh, don't bother with him. Phil: Why? Client: He thinks he's Howard Hughes.
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© 2007, 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.