War Story: From Here to Infinity

Today on War Story, Indestructible Al Foster is captured by the enemy and interrogated... Enemy Captain: So, are you ready to talk? Foster: Foster, Allan, Sergeant, 35466553. Enemy Captain: That is too bad. You see, if you have no information, you are worthless to us. We will have to kill you. Foster: Good luck with that. Enemy Captain: Sergeant Foster, there are a hundred pounds of high explosives stashed under your chair. I fail to see where you get your confidence. Foster: Go ahead. Do your worst. Enemy Captain: Very well. It's your funeral. (He lights the fuse, takes up a safe position outside the blast zone, and plugs his ears.) (3-2-1-BOOM!) Foster's Foot: Has anyone seen my eyes? Foster's Nose: No, but I don't need them for you. Enemy Captain: What is this? Talking body parts? Then I shall explode you and submit your remains to a firing squad! Ha! (He gathers up the body parts and piles them onto the chair. Foster's hands spring up and grab at the Captain's throat. He pries them off and throws them on top of the pile.) (3-2-1-KABLOOEY! Ready...Aim...Fire! BANG!) Smithereen One: I say, did you get the name of that hit and run driver? Smithereen Two: I think it was Smith. Enemy Captain: Bring out the warhead! Enemy Corporal: Sir, no! It will destroy us all! Enemy Captain: Do as I say! (3-2-1-NUCLEAR DETONATION!) Atom One: Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Atom Two: Squeak! Squeak! (NUCLEAR DETONATION PLUS ONE!) String One: La la la la String Two: La la la (NUCLEAR DETONATION PLUS INFINITY! A great vortex opens up in the sky from the force of the explosion. When it settles, the enemy captain finds himself bound to Foster's chair. Foster is alive, in one piece, and standing over him.) Enemy Captain: What happened? Foster: You opened up a door to a parallel universe in which I captured you instead of you capturing me. (Enter Foster's captain.) Foster's Captain: Good work, Sergeant. Looks like we're going to have to win this war one universe at a time. Foster: Thank you, Captain. (He salutes and the background score starts up the theme from The Great Escape.)
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© 2004, 2007, 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.